She Has Something Beautiful to Offer

I am convinced once again that we need each other. We need friends and soul sisters, we need authentic relationships. Without them it's too easy to believe that her life is perfect and that she doesn't struggle with marriage, parenting, self worth and body image. We need real friendships to see that we all are in a battle and get discouraged. I have been connected recently with a couple ladies that I have known a very long time, our paths have crossed but we've never really stopped long enough to share. 

She sat across the table from me speaking words that I have said and thought for so long. I didn't know her story until now, and though I knew who she was I didn't really know her and never imagined she too battled infertility. Hours passed like minutes as I soaked up every bit of the conversation feeling less alone and isolated. She didn't look confused when I said how I really felt, rather she nodded her head and finished my sentence because she has felt the exact same way. There is no need to explain or apologize for my rather harsh words or thoughts, and she understands how certain (sometimes silly) comments and events are a sharp knife to the gut. To share similarities is comforting, to be understood and hear hope is refreshing to the soul. 

There have been several special friends that have intersected this road of infertility over the years, offering up understanding and that has carried me many times. I wasn't expecting it this time, and sometimes life catches me by surprise. My soul is weary and I can't imagine how talking about it anymore could help. It's almost like God nudges people together not because our struggle is new but because it is the perfect timing. 

This past year has stirred up heartache all over again and most days it is easier (and safer) to stay quiet and guarded. You start to believe the lie that people around you have grown tired of hearing the same ol' story, and so you say less. And with less heart connections and reaching out comes more isolation. With isolation comes assumptions of what others are going through and what they think about me. So I press on and pick very selectively who I turn to. Walking carefully through the season with my fragile heart. I desire relationships the same as normal but deep understanding and fulfillment doesn't come. Instead I walk away feeling misunderstood and lost. 

How easy it would be to remain exclusive and stick with the friends that know me well. To stay protected and stingy with my heart. 

Another path intersects and a friend shares her struggles, her deep heartache that I didn't know about and one I'm not familiar with. Her pain is different than mine but it is real and it's what challenges her to the greatest growth. We can relate not because we have the same story but because we've both experienced unfulfilled desires. She bravely and honestly admits that she doesn't understand what I am facing but she says she has shed tears for me and prayed countless times over the years. 

I am humbled. I never imagined she was going to battle for me. 

These conversations and heart connections don't change any of our circumstances. We aren't offering up advice, solving problems, or saving the world. 

Yet, somehow it is enough to share each others' burdens, shaking our heads in question as to why prayers go unanswered.  

We don't need an answer or an explanation (although sometimes it would be nice). What we need are the words, "I can't imagine" or "I understand", priceless precious words. When we listen rather than compete with who is suffering more, when we are honest about our fears, the light can shine into those dark places. The places where the enemy whispers lies that no one cares and everyone has forgotten.

When I risk and reach out I am encouraged. The enemy's  lies have no place here where friends are brave. 

Authenticity and words of truth bring light, reminding me that each and every one of us has our thing our unanswered prayer, our heartache, our "thorn in the flesh" and even if we haven't walked the exact road as our friend we can still come along side them and share tears. 

We need each other, those who can relate and those who can't, she has something beautiful to offer.