The lie: "Someone else has already done it (wrote a book) and probably better than I could."
I wanted to jump up out of my seat and shout, "Me too, I feel that way too!" I assure you, I didn't humiliate myself like that. But I have often felt this way. There is someone else already writing a book or a blog and who am I to follow in those footsteps. The one main theme I took from the conference was this - tell your story and be your own person. Yes, maybe someone already has done it (guaranteed they have) but that doesn't mean I can't still bring what I have to offer. It will be different and it will be unique, because each of us have a different story.
Almost one month later I walk into a room filled with other artists. I look around, forcing a smile because I really just want to wipe my sweaty hands on my pants and run out the door. It is my turn to introduce myself to a room full of strangers and tell them what I make. I hold up my hands and show them the leather bracelet and cuff I am wearing, giving a brief description of what I do. As the introductions continue I soon find that I am not the only one in the room that works with leather. And by the time the meeting came to a close the feelings of doubt began to creep in.Thoughts like, "what am I doing, this girl is surely more creative than me....who do I think I am... an artist, ya right!" As I drove home I remembered those words.
Someone else has probably already done it... and better.
Pick almost any big feat or dream I'm facing and someone else has most likely gone before me.
But, better? By whose standards?
If I look at this with a worldly view I could certainly build a case as to how I don't measure up. I could compare and compete. Vow to do better with marketing and networking, set goals, reach for the stars! And while all those things are good in a successful business, I need to remind myself not to lose sight of what God has called me to do.
"I don't need my name in lights, I'm famous in my Father's eyes. Make no mistake He knows my name. I'm not living for applause, I'm already so adored. It's all His stage, He knows my name".-Francesca Battistelli
The words to one of my favorite songs plays over in my head and I wish so badly I didn't connect so much with it. I love it and relate to it because it is a struggle. I do want my name in lights.
Yes, I want to be known. (guilty confession) Don't we all though? To be recognized and applauded? To do well in this life?
It's pretty great that God knows my name, and He adores me. I do believe I could work on this for the rest of my life. To grasp tightly and remember my identity in Him every day in the little things and so very importantly during those times of great risk and vulnerability.
But there's also something so applicable for me to do every day. Not only does writing and creating bring life to me and give me such clarity and purpose, it is also My Part. The job, the life, the mission God has called me to. Little as it may be, it is mine. It may not be in lights, it may not be on stage and it may go completely unnoticed.
So when I start to feel small and insignificant sitting in a room full of artists and authors with tremendous talent surrounding me. I will chose to remember that it's not about going where no man has gone before or being better. It is simply about bringing my part.
My words to the page.
My style to the ordinary cuff.
My encouragement to a friend.
So what if there is a thousand other people bringing the exact same thing to the table. Even though it may look like there are multiple leather workers and a room full of authors and bloggers, we aren't all the same. If I focus strictly on what God is asking of me then it really shouldn't matter if she is better than me or more talented. Maybe she is.
But what difference does it make because I don't need my name in lights...
I just need to bring my part.
