The Grass Isn't Always Greener...

But there is always a meadow.

I have found myself saying or thinking many times that once 'this' happens 'that' will be easier. For example, I said that once we got moved out of our house and settled in the trailer it would be easier for me to start a new book or write more often. There would be more family time and nights spent playing games without TV as a distraction and exercise would be something I would look forward to again.

I'm not sure why I continue to think that I will somehow be a different person in different circumstances. I am still the same person who bulks at exercise and has to be purposeful to sit down and have quiet time.

I often think the grass is greener on the other side by looking ahead and imagining my life easier or struggling less if... (fill in the blank). 

The truth is, Life Is Never Easy no matter who you are or what season of life you're in. But, we CAN choose our perspective on it. 

The challenges I faced three weeks ago on Hauser Ct are different than the ones we currently face in trailer living. One of my nightly routines now is checking, emptying and resetting mouse traps. Never in my 37 years have I set a mouse trap! There's a time for everything I guess. Close quarters should bond us as a family but the reality is, it's much easier to get on each others' nerves when every time you turn around you are tripping over a person, a dog or a shoe. There are many sleepless nights, 1:00 am wake ups because Rogan wet the bed, and every time we have to get in or out of bed it requires a jump, kick, flop sort of motion that should count as a workout as far as I'm concerned. 

I say all of this not to complain but rather to say that, the grass is not greener over here. There are still weeds and those moments when you just want to scream and don't even know why. Difficulties that I couldn't imagine from the other side. But there's also something else I couldn't see from the other side, the meadow of beautiful flowers. 

I couldn't imagine what it would be like to sit outside a trailer, in a chair listening to the birds chirp and tweet, Dozer laid out next to me in the morning sun with my computer on my lap writing and drinking my coffee. Or, picking fresh berries from the garden while Rogan feeds the goats grape leaves nearby. The last minute ATV rides through the woods to look for coyotes and fishing in the pond with Papa after work. 

The afternoons spent by the pool and the evening runs in the country with my friends. The warmth and the hospitality that only can be explained once you experience it. The little things like stepping out of the shower onto an extra plush mat and sharing a meal together.

Patience and peacefulness don't come easy to me and maybe never will. If I want to read a new book or write more I simply must choose it. The distractions of life still remain and I will probably always struggle with doing the the things that are good for me. Life is not easier over here and the grass is not greener. I could be disappointed in myself or frustrated that I'm not where I thought I would be. 

But there is so much more that I never imagined. Much much better stuff! 

If I was hung up on what isn't happening right now (like family game nights or eating healthier or...) then I would be missing the amazing things that ARE taking place. Like the outpouring of love from friends who have taken us in and treat us as part of their family.  

I don't want to miss this. 

It is amazing, a beautiful meadow that isn't perfect. It looks different than I thought and is an adventure that we will forever remember. 

On this night of fishing Rogan caught his first fish ever, 6 to be exact (on his very own Spiderman pole).

Thank you for reading and sharing in this adventure with my family!