We stood in line, looking up at that gigantic circular thing in the sky and my stomach did a flip just thinking about being on it. Rogan of course, gazed up in awe and excitement as he held Grandpa's hand.
I've rode on a few carnival rides in my life but I think I've become a little more cautious and a little skeptical. Why would I put my life (and my son's life) in the hands of a complete stranger!? Trusting him to operate a piece of equipment that hoists me 60 feet in the air. Sounds pretty absurd when you analyze it like that.
Once he got us loaded into the little rocking car/cage and the safety gate was fastened he stepped over to the controls and up we go...
Well, only a few feet and then we stop, wait for the next car to be loaded and then up we go again. We slowly went higher and it got more terrifying to peek over the side, butterflies flipping around in my stomach as I imagine how much scarier it will be at the very top. There was way too much time to think just sitting there, suspended high above the ground.
I have always felt like it is pretty acceptable to scream at carnivals, and that is truly what I wanted to do. Yet I think it would have been pretty obvious where it came from since nobody else was screaming on our ride or anywhere close to us. When the last person was loaded on to the ride (which felt like an hour) the ride could finally begin, and it did. Around and around we went, the car rocking (thanks to my Dad adding some excitement to it), and Rogan beaming. We made memories that day last Summer, I survived and didn't even toss my cookies. And Rogan, he experienced his first ferris wheel ride.
........
Mike reaches over and squeezes my hand, "It's a crazy ride babe. A very slow wait to what will soon be a crazy ride."
Our house is pending, and if all goes smooth we are to be moved out in three weeks, yikes! That's exciting! Yet, now we need a place to move to. Every day we search the internet for homes to buy and for some reason or another every one is a dead end.
During all the house showings there was a lot more activity and excitement. There was that rush that comes with the first steps, kinda like getting in the car and having the ferris wheel move for the first time. Now there is less to do as the process clicks along with a sale pending. The only thing to do is wait, wait for everyone to be loaded onto the ride.
Now there is a lot more time to think about all the 'what if's' and look over the edge of the car to worry whether the ride was put together correctly. Time to think about how scary it will be when the car is at the top and then drops down the other side.
Taking a step of Faith in any situation is just that, A step of Faith. It requires action. First we must decide to even say yes to the ride or that first step.
Yet, that's not where it ends. After we commit there is many more steps, just like when I was sitting on that ride waiting for the action to start. There was the step of waiting, and trusting, patiently believing that ultimately God is in control. During all those "waiting" steps there is also space that if I allow it, the doubt can sneak in and distract creating nothing but a freak out of panic.
This waiting that we find ourselves in right now is just as important as the "YES" that started this whole journey. Who likes to wait though? Not me.
It's often in the waiting that I feel God is silent.
I'm fixated and focused on Him revealing a place for us to live and when that doesn't happen I start to freak out. I look over the edge of the ride, I look down at everyone below me. From that perspective of fear and panic it looks like nobody cares or sees me. It looks like everyone is moving along with their life and I am just stuck, waiting on a ride that isn't going anywhere. My hand grips tighter on the rails and I let my mind spin out of control of all the "what if's", my biggest fears of selling our house and finding ourselves in a less that desirable situation.
But if I can stop those thoughts in their tracks and relax my grip, look up and take a deep breathe, this is what I will see...
Our house is pending, and if all goes smooth we are to be moved out in three weeks, yikes! That's exciting! Yet, now we need a place to move to. Every day we search the internet for homes to buy and for some reason or another every one is a dead end.
During all the house showings there was a lot more activity and excitement. There was that rush that comes with the first steps, kinda like getting in the car and having the ferris wheel move for the first time. Now there is less to do as the process clicks along with a sale pending. The only thing to do is wait, wait for everyone to be loaded onto the ride.
Now there is a lot more time to think about all the 'what if's' and look over the edge of the car to worry whether the ride was put together correctly. Time to think about how scary it will be when the car is at the top and then drops down the other side.
Taking a step of Faith in any situation is just that, A step of Faith. It requires action. First we must decide to even say yes to the ride or that first step.
Yet, that's not where it ends. After we commit there is many more steps, just like when I was sitting on that ride waiting for the action to start. There was the step of waiting, and trusting, patiently believing that ultimately God is in control. During all those "waiting" steps there is also space that if I allow it, the doubt can sneak in and distract creating nothing but a freak out of panic.
This waiting that we find ourselves in right now is just as important as the "YES" that started this whole journey. Who likes to wait though? Not me.
It's often in the waiting that I feel God is silent.
I'm fixated and focused on Him revealing a place for us to live and when that doesn't happen I start to freak out. I look over the edge of the ride, I look down at everyone below me. From that perspective of fear and panic it looks like nobody cares or sees me. It looks like everyone is moving along with their life and I am just stuck, waiting on a ride that isn't going anywhere. My hand grips tighter on the rails and I let my mind spin out of control of all the "what if's", my biggest fears of selling our house and finding ourselves in a less that desirable situation.
But if I can stop those thoughts in their tracks and relax my grip, look up and take a deep breathe, this is what I will see...
And somehow I feel safe when I look out and look up rather than looking down and inward.
When I embrace the part of the ride I am currently in the focus isn't on fear but rather the joy that is right in front of me.
This, right here, is a memory I will forever cherish. And this crazy ferris wheel ride of house selling and buying is making memories that someday I will look back on as priceless memories.
May I not be so gripped by fear that I miss the blessings that God is giving me.
For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord, they are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11
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