I Am With You

I am with you always, even to the end of age. Matthew 28:20

Unity...this picture says it all. 

I reflect on this verse again now that I'm home, drinking my coffee and having my quiet time on my couch, slowly reestablishing some sort of a routine. This was our verse for our trip, the verse on the back of the red t shirts that we passed out at both schools and signed them and had ours signed. I wrote this verse on the inside cover of my journal before I left as a reminder that no matter what I faced God was with me. I experienced God's love and presence time and time again last week. When I needed courage, or an extra dose of patience or energy He was faithful to come through for me. I would say that it's almost easy to draw on God's strength when so many distractions are removed and when your'e so submerged in God's work and meeting needs. 

I'm home, comfortable, I can flush toilet paper (that's a big deal) and I can drink tap water and eat fruits and vegetables without concern and sleep in my own bed... and I so quickly forget to turn to God to get me through the every day tasks. The minor things that we experienced that were different and "uncomfortable" are a small price to pay for the blessings we received. Now there's distractions and stuff, so much stuff. I can't look in a closet or a bedroom without seeing things, things I wish I could share with my Guatemalan friends and family. There is an extra blanket on the chair in my living room and another on my lap and extra toothbrushes in my bathroom drawer. I want to help more, do more, meet more needs. Each with little sacrifice on my part, it's just extras, an abundance of what we have. The time went so fast and while I was so anxious to get home to my boys, I still wished I could do more. 


Half joking I asked Mike if I can go again in July when our church takes another team. The look on his face was answer enough, he was exhausted after working his normal work week, holding down the fort and shuttling Rogan to friend's houses, taking care of him all the times in between. He would never complain, and I'm so grateful for his sacrifice so I could go. But to leave again in four months might be asking a bit much ;) What was very evident to me as I started my day on Monday was there are so many needs here, just in my home alone. Rogan needs his mama and Mike needs his wife, he appreciates the smell of food when he walks in the door from a long day of work. There is laundry and dishes and a snotty nose to be wiped and all that very important stuff that goes with being a wife and a mom. 

It is nice to be needed. 

Yet, compared to last week these needs seem insignificant, isolating and lonely. There is adventure and excitement going to another country, you feel immediate purpose while meeting needs in a tangible way on a daily basis. Right before your eyes you see change and the accomplished feeling of building something with your hands. You are in relationship with people all day everyday, and while that can bring it's own challenges it is also so nice to have someone to turn to face to face and ask for prayer, right then and there. You get to see people and hear there voices rather than see texts on your phone or emails. Your'e being emotionally emptied then filled right back up again by seeing God's provision or receiving a genuine hug or by looking into those deep dark brown eyes and feeling love.

Maybe to some people going on a mission trip seems crazy and unimaginable. But I also have to say, being faithful in the everyday tasks is difficult and a little crazy. I came across this verse on Monday and it's just what I needed to hear. "let us not get tired of doing what is right, for after awhile we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't get discouraged and give up." Galatians 6:9

Being a Mom and a wife is my greatest blessing and I truly love it! Sometimes life can be lonely and mundane (especially as a stay at home Mom), and in those times I need to remember that wiping a snotty nose is just as important as cleaning and painting and sweeping up cockroaches off a pantry floor in Guatemala. (I know that doesn't sound very fulfilling, but let me tell you, it was one of my greatest challenges and victories all together. Maybe there will be a post on that later.)  I may not be getting my hands very dirty today or making much of a sacrifice, but to my husband and son, what I do matters and they need me here. 

Sweeping the dirt, roaches, rodents and rodent feces from the pantry floor. By the time we were done, it was extreme pantry makeover. 

This explains why I feel isolated now. Cram five people in a tiny room and paint together, now that's community!

So, I continue to hold the Matthew verse close and remember that "He is with me", wherever I am whether that be Molalla or Guatemala. 

I truly can't wait for another opportunity to go back. But until then, I will be faithfully meeting the needs God has called me to here, in Molalla and in my home.