When It's Enough

I am back, here at this space and I'm actually writing! It feels a little awkward and a bit like I took a couple steps back. Maybe not to you, my readers and friends. But to me it does because I had big plans at the first of the year to challenge myself and grow with both my writing and my small business.

I jumped in with both feet and bought a domain name for Leather Creations and this blog. I started the process of switching over to Word Press and looked into building a website for my small business. Both seemed simple enough for my lack of computer skills but I quickly found that it wasn't so simple. About the same time I was also presented with the opportunity to write for a Mom's blog. I felt God was leading all of this and as terrified as I was to accept the offer I said yes with butterflies in my stomach and my hands shaking. As I remained stumped on my personal blog I soaked up new information and wrote monthly posts for the Mom's blog.

The truth is, I bit off more than I could chew and while part of my life was moving forward and I was growing, another part of me was frustrated that everything else was at a stand still. 

My first response is to just try harder, press on and conquer. It's in my DNA but it's also our culture. I do things out of my comfort zone because they help me grow and they are good for me. Yet there is a fine line between a nudge that motivates and simply doing too much.

I spent countless nights laying awake in bed with a nagging in my gut, thinking about all the plates I had spinning. Feeling as if maybe I just needed to try harder, like I wasn't doing enough. That feeling of not doing enough doesn't mean the lack of activity, no, quite the opposite. I see the warning signs when all the activity starts piling up, nothing I do feels good enough and I literally feel like someone is choking me.

This overdo it way of living is no stranger to me. I've been here before, I've overbooked, I've burnt out and I've stepped down from good things, very good things. Just because they are good things, doesn't mean they are the best and the best for this particular time in my life. 

But there's a lie that keeps me stuck in the place of striving. It whispers in my ear that if I step down I have somehow failed or maybe it was a mistake to say yes in the first place. Letting something go is sometimes harder than saying yes to it in the first place.

I believe that it isn't God who is pushing me to do more because guilt and shame aren't His language. Instead His words remind me that my worth is not measured in what I do and stepping away from a commitment doesn't reflect failure.

These last 10 months have not been wasted. I have learned so many things and when I'm accepting God's grace I can see that and relax.

Instead of trying harder and doing more, I am choosing to recognize the things I am doing, do them well and remind myself that it is enough. 

It's a season of learning to rest while actively living the life I'm called to. May you too find freedom in letting go of the things that aren't the best and embracing where God is calling you. 

It really is enough. Because He is Enough.